Monday morning...start of the week

Emotionally and physically spent!!!! I am unsure why today is such a day for this but I am tired. I was supposed to go to Acupuncture today and skipped. It would have served me well, but I just could not do it. I went and gassed up the car and then turned around and went back home......WHY???? I think this is really emotionally draining me of the last of what I have in me. I am trying to stay strong and very positive and I think I am doing it pretty well, but outside appearances are sometimes what holds me up. If I act positive and smile maybe that is how I will feel??? Has been working pretty good so far but I think it is taking its toll. All of my friends tell me how great I look and how strong I am. I just want to cry and say - I am not any of those things...it is just a front to make it look that way. Ugh!!! I am trying though. God help me I a trying. All of my friends and family have been so gracious and listen to me whine about what is going on and I know they are all probably about ready to shake me and say - CHILL OUT!!! Please excuse the interruption of cry-baby today...I will post later and be more positive :)